Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Healing by Christopher Davidson (Chapter 1)


The evil urge is no less necessary than the good,  indeed even more necessary,  for without it man would woo no woman and beget no children, build no house and engage in no economic activity…   it is called “the yeast in the dough,”   the ferment placed in the soul by God, without which the human dough does not rise.    (Martin Buber,   “Good and Evil”)


Prologue

Bradley Chu, Investor,  strides purposefully into his sleeping quarters with Book in one hand and suitcase in the other.   He sets the suitcase on the bed,  sits down immediately at the redwood desk and opens the Book.  The sound of a ringing bell alerts him that a message has arrived from an anonymous sender; it's  entitled "Real Renaissance Revealed." 
'Bradley waves a hand and murmurs a password.  Vague bursts of light shoot up from his bookscreen, and begin to take shape.  Cursing in guttural Chinese,   he waves his hand again and the images hovering in the air dissolve and re-appear.   He glares at the screen, folds his arms, and watches,  cursing and muttering to himself all the while.
*****
Welcome,  Truth Tellers of the World!  It's June 15,  2049, and you are watching BEFORE THE RECORD,  where we catch the news before it breaks.  I'm Captain Truth,  reporting from Agello, Italy.   We're just a stone's throw from the beautiful medieval city of Perugia,  where you can climb the cobblestone hillsides,  learn Italian in the sidewalk cafes and purchase world-famous Perugina chocolates at a deep discount if you click on the ad to my right.  
We continue now with the second episode of Real Renaissance Revealed,  our investigation of the biggest international scandal of the 21st century. 
Our first interview today is with the irresistible, and irresistibly beautiful, Countess Giulia Antonini Zuckerman, of Perugia, Italy. We're visiting her in Agello, her ancestral homestead in the hills above town. 
Countess Giulia may or may not be guilty of misappropriating vast sums of government money -- or of hawking poisonous medications that claim to lengthen lives --   but this I know:   she has one son,  Count Raffaello, who lives in the United States.  That's right, Count Raffaello Antonini Zuckerman.  Does he sound like a vampire to you?  He does to me too. You'll never hear him use that name, it might make too many people suspicious of his real motives.   He's last scion of the Antonini family.  He's also an American businessman and scientist,   known to the United States public as Ralph "Zuck" Zuckerman.  Count Raffaello is none other than the Founder himself, the Doctor Faustus of Beverly Hills, the CEO of that now infamous corporation, Renaissance Pharmaceuticals,  the man whose haughty negligence and overweening ambition may have cheated you and millions of your fellow citizens of billions of taxpayer dollars over the last thirty years.
 Don't worry,  Mom didn't hear this introduction;  I'm  doing a voiceover.  In  fact, she doesn't know who I am or why I'm putting her on my show. But you do, because I'll tell you.  We're here to find out how the sins of the Mothers are visited upon the Sons!
 (The voice of Captain Truth changes audibly to a much dirtier, less engineered sound.)
 "Good morning, Countess!"
"Good morning, my friend.   I believe this is my first interview with a cartoon character."
"Countess!  Never judge a character by his cartoon!   Ladies and gentlemen, Countess Antonini is, unlike me, made of flesh and blood,  and she  turns eighty this year with nary a blemish or wrinkle on her cheeks nor a strand of white hair.  No surprise to any of you,  I imagine,  that she jogs two miles every day and has just taken the helm of her 500-million-dollar family business, the Antonini Wineries,  in the wake of her father's retirement at the tender age of 115!   I came looking for the Countess at this 18th century villa here in the hills of Tuscany.."
"Umbria, darling." 
"Umbria, yes.  Countess Giulia shares the ancestral family home with her three sisters,  Sara, Elena and Raffaella,  all in their nineties.  There they are,  sitting at a wooden table on their terrace with glasses of wine in their hands.   If you look carefully behind us,  you'll see the rolling green hills in the distance, and the vineyards in the valleys down below. What a view!   Right before we got started,    Lady Giulia offered me and my crew a couple of bottles of these prize wines here  (close-up on the label of the wine bottle;  "Antonini, Pinot Grigio 2049")  and a plate of local goat cheeses, all available for round-the world overnight shipments, at bargain prices,  through a link on the right side of this page. You can also reach the Antonini Vineyards and obtain our TruthTellers Rebate simply by saying the following coupon code:  Tomba Di Nerone.  That's Tomba Di Nerone. More on that strange name later.   Now, as you'll see in a moment,  the Countess was clearly  delighted at the opportunity to take us with her on her long, strange  trip down memory lane!"
"Delighted?  It depends which route we take,  my dear.  There are certain dark corners where I would prefer not to get lost."
"So, Countess. How did you meet your husband?" 
"I was his English student at the American School down in Rome."
"He taught you well, I see.  Your English is flawless. And how did you fall in love?" 
"Oh dear...   If you could have seen him when he was a young man,  prancing in front of a classroom,  you would understand."
"Well then,  Countess,  let's take a look!   Is this a fair resemblance?"   (Closeup on the face of a handsome but stern-looking man in his mid-thirties,  dark-haired and even-featured, unsmiling, thin-lipped, with a mustache and a scraggly goatee)
"He was not so thin and -- pointed, darling. There was... a certain sweetness..."
The husband's face dissolves and reconstitutes itself to look decidedly younger and more full-lipped.  The face breaks out into a winning,  confident grin,  every white tooth showing." 
"That's more like it!"
"And was it just his handsome face, Countess,  or did he seduce you by other means?"
"Well, you need to hear my story to answer that question..."
"All right folks,  I give you Countess Antonini,  who will share with us the story of how all the madness started.   Believe it or not,   every story has a beginning,  even if it never ends." 

Chapter 1:    Nero's Tomb (Tomba Di Nerone),  Rome, Italy,  the mid 1980s

Since the 1560s the Antoninis of  Central Italy had farmed acres of chestnuts and garbanzo beans, hillsides full of vineyards and olive groves.  They’d harvested barrels upon barrels of juicy, sweet red grapes and carefully ripened olives,  pounded and squeezed them into oils and wines so flavorful and rich that the finest restaurants in Paris and London would clamor for them.  The names of Antoninis were attached to a dozen marble and stone palaces in Rome and Frascati, Viterbo and Orvieto, Perugia and Florence.   
Countess Giulia Antonini, born in 1969,   was the last of the four daughters of Count Raffaello Antonini de Novellis,  the last heiress of the Antonini family,  and the first in her family to be sent to the New World -- although in the beginning she only went there in spirit, not in body.  
Giulia grew up with her father and three sisters in the family homestead outside Perugia.  Her mother died early on, felled by breast cancer when Giulia was only three.  She had private tutors for much of her childhood.  But her father, Count Raffaello,   was a practical man,  indeed perhaps the cleverest businessman the family had seen in 250 years since his ancestor, Ercole,  had opened a high-end wineshop in a fashionable area of London. 
As Giulia matured,  and it became clear to Count Raffaello that he would not remarry or bear any male heirs,  he began thinking ahead to the future of the family winery and decided two things;   his daughters needed to learn how to run the business,  and it was time for Antonini to expand its United States market. 
Sara, Elena and Raffaella were old enough to work;  the Count could train them to manage the winery.  The three of them together might just have the brains to keep the business going another generation,  although it was a source of endless frustration to him that not one of his girls seemed in any hurry to marry or have children. 
 Giulia, at least,  had an independent streak in her,  a drive to conquer,  that Count Raffaello hadn't seen in his three older daughters.  She also had the looks -- the slenderness, the dark hair,  the soulful black eyes that Americans liked to see in an Italian woman -- all of which could only the winery succeed.   And so, the youngest of the Countesses was slated to take charge of the booming American market.  
When Giulia turned fourteen in the summer of 1983,  Count Raffaello decided to set her up with an apartment and a nanny-governess-housekeeper in an Antonini-owned building in downtown Rome.  She would be living by herself, a three-hour drive away from home;  it was an unconventional arrangement.    But if any of the Antonini girls could handle it,  Giulia could. Raffaello also enrolled her at the expensive, exclusive American School Of Rome.  In that setting, he hoped,  his daughter would gain some mastery of the English spoken by the nouveau riche families of California and New York, who were rapidly becoming the most extravagant and faithful customers of Antonini Wineries.   And even better,  she might meet a suitable husband, perhaps even a young man with a good command of English and of the American way of doing business.  That would be the ideal outcome. 
Count Raffaello met with the entire staff of his estate and handpicked the appropriate lady to look after his young daughter.   Her name was Norisa Minucci Romero;  thirty-five or so,  a thin, pale bundle of energy,  organized and methodical and eager to better herself;  she had studied up to the eighth grade, and she was married with a son just Giulia's age.  Her husband Ferdinando Romero was a negretto,  a little blacky from the Philippines.  God knew how he had ended up in Agello,  but it had something to do with the foreigners' school over in Perugia. He might have come to learn Italian,  snagged some under-the-table handyman work, and found a way to hide from the authorities, never bothering to go back home.   He was an earnest little churchgoer,  and seemed to want to make an honest living;  and between his religious devotion and Norisa's watchful eye,  Count Raffaello was sure they wouldn't let their son get into trouble or become a bad influence on young and comely Giulia. 
And so,  shortly after wrapping up their family vacation on the beach at Anzio,  where they always spent August sunning themselves with all the good families from Rome and Umbria,  the Count, his four daughters,  Norisa, Ferdinando and their son Beppo packed up two cars with the essentials -- family portraits,  fine linens,  porcelain plates from the potters' town of Mugnano just down the road from the family homestead.  Ferdinando borrowed one of the Antonini Winery trucks and loaded onto it everything else that Giulia might need,  the bed and couches, the Moroccan rugs and glass table, and a new bidet for the bathroom.     Norisa gave a last-minute tour of the Agello estate to the cousins who could take over the jobs she and her husband were doing -- cooking and cleaning and home repairs,  oil-pressing and olive-tree pruning.   And then the caravan left -- the Count's Mercedes Benz, the Romeros' ten-year old Fiat clunker,  a smoke-belching truck,  and the two families,  and one directly behind the  other,  the three vehicles trundled along country roads, and, for the last few miles, an unavoidable divided highway,   until they reached the Villa Antonini di Trastevere. 
A rough-and-tumble 18th century building,  three storeys tall and laced with suggestive graffiti that needed to be removed == Norisa put it on her mental list -- ,  the Villa clung to the edge of a narrow, hilly,  cobblestone street called Salita di San'Onofrio.   It was among the dingiest of the family properties, and the only one that they'd been willing to convert into condominium apartments.  There were few murals or statues to speak of,  and only one tiny courtyard with a stone fountain,  but it was perfect for the rental market because of its location on a picturesque alleyway that snaked down hill from the cypress and pine walkways of Gianicolo Park,  where English and American artists came to spend a year at the Academy of Rome,   to the warren of cobblestone streets southwest of the Tiber River,  known as Trastevere,  that had become so favored by tourists and foreign sojourners.    Indeed, the Palazzo Antonini was a cash cow; renters came and went every year without ever staying long enough to benefit from the absurdities of Roman rent control laws.  Giulia's neighbors were a revolving-door crowd of professors on sabbatical  and college students on their junior year abroad, mostly from the United States.  Some tenants enrolled their children at the American School and asked young Giulia to babysit.  She didn't need the money,  but she did it anyway because she liked the English practice and loved to play with little children.  
Norisa managed the building finances and paid Giulia's American School tuition,  but young Giulia collected all the leftover profit from the rentals after bills, taxes and salaries had been paid,  and she could buy her fill of designer clothes and jewelry, weekend excursions to European capitals with her sisters,  summers at the beach in Anzio;  when Giulia's classmates at the American School realized the extent of her money and freedom,   she quickly became one of the most popular girls and got invited to parties every weekend. 
In the years that Giulia lived at Salita San Onofrio, Norisa  managed the property.   She  also ironed and repaired the clothes, cooked the food, washed the dishes and cleaned the apartment, and even checked to see that Giulia had done her homework.   Although Norisa lived, technically, with her husband and son in the basement apartment reserved for doormen and groundskeepers,  she spent more time at Giulia's place than at her own. 
Norisa's husband Ferdinando was a quiet man; he took care of the plumbing and electrical problems and spent a lot of time at church on Sundays.  Norisa's son Beppo,  on the other hand,  was friendly and talkative, exactly Giulia's age,  and safely, oddly immune to the charm of Giulia's perfumes and leather purses and designer high heels.   When the two youngsters were together,   studying English or Latin or math,  travelling to and from school field trips,  going out to beer halls on the weekend evenings with their friends,    Giulia forgot she was an Antonini,  and Beppo appeared to forget he was a poor mixed-race farmboy from the Umbrian countryside.  
This was not entirely by accident, of course.  Norisa had attended school only to the eighth grade,  but she knew how to take care of business-- that's why Count Raffaello had trusted her with his daughter.  She had convinced the Count to pay a portion of Beppo's tuition at the American School.  The Count,  whose business instincts rarely failed him,   took care of the rest of Beppo's tuition with a bit of clever politicking.   His opening gambit with the Admissions Director, who also moonlighted as the school's chief fundraiser,  was to make vague promises of future donations   A week before Beppo's case appeared before the largely American Board of Trustees of the school, the Count presented them with a few discreet gifts -- cases of the highest-quality Antonini wines and olive oil, worth hundreds of dollars (but not even a tenth of the tuition.)   He then pointed out in a private meeting with the Headmaster that Beppo Romero showed great promise, although his father was a simple plumber-electrician and his mother a housekeeper.  With the right kind of  cultivation,  Beppo might make an interesting candidate for a top-ranked American university, hence boosting the Stateside reputation of the American School!  Furthermore, as Count Raffaello pointed out to the Headmaster,  Beppo's English was already decent -- in part because his Filipino father had learned it in Filipino schools before emigrating to Italy. And finally,  Beppo and Giulia would help one another survive the rigorous academic climate of the American School, with its Advanced Placement courses and International Bacculareate Exams, because they would study together and learn quickly-- indeed, they might help to make each other virtually bilingual.  The Count wrapped up his sales pitch by returning to the possibility (in unspecified later years)  of an Antonini Scholarship Fund,  and by meeting's end he'd cajoled the headmaster into offering Beppo a generous scholarship that covered the balance of his tuition, the cost of all books,  and even his soccer uniform.   
And so it was that Countess Giulia Antonini and Beppo Romero started the ninth grade together at the American School of Rome,  then landed together in "English as a Second Language" class in tenth grade,  and passed into honors English and then finally into Advanced Placement,  thus remaining his two most dedicated students until graduation.  They grew up together, discovering America under the bemused eye of their English teacher, Mr. Robert Zuckerman.   
Mr Z arrived a year after Beppo and Giulia,  like them a newcomer to Rome and to the American School,  and he arrived in style.   Neither Beppo nor Giulia ever forgot their first glimpse of him.  In the early morning of the first day of classes in 1984,  the year they began tenth grade, the kids took the bus to school together. They watched from the windows as a speeding motorcyclist careened around the corner of the Via Cassia in a jet-black helmet and sunglasses ,  and sped noisily past them.   In the midst of the rush hour traffic jam,  he weaved his noisy way in and out of car lanes,  rumbled across the street, and sped through the gates of school and halfway across the parking lot until he'd slowed down enough to stop.   The motorcyclist turned out to be Mr. Z --the only teacher they'd ever met who wasn't afraid to own the roads with his bike.   Soon after Beppo and Giulia found their way to first period ESL,   he entered with a flourish,  still wearing his sunglasses,  and   made two announcements that forever sealed his reputation among students. 
First of all,  Mr. Z. was not a professional teacher but rather  a writer from Los Angeles,  author of a dozen movie scripts,  who wanted a break from “show biz.”  
Second of all,  the new teacher from Hollywood CA was a fan of none other than Nero -- that vicious Ancient Roman Emperor who had persecuted Christians for refusing to bow down to him;   murdered family members before they could steal the throne; wasted the untold riches of the Roman Empire to build a cluster of glamorous palaces in the center of the Imperial capital,  a complex that only the Emperor himself had been allowed to enter. 
"Look, I know Nero was no saint,"  Mr. Z said, forgetting that his students could barely understand English. "He was a gangster.  But boy, oh boy -- did he leave fingerprints!" 
Beppo raised his hand. 
"What is it, kid?"
"Fingerprints?"  asked Beppo.  "Excuse me,  what are fingerprints?"
"Come up here, kid --- Beppo, right?  Mind if I call you Joe? Joseph, it's English for Giuseppe, right?   Helps me remember you better.  Put your finger here, Joe,  in this bowl of black ink. I brought it to class especially for you." 
Beppo obediently stuck his finger into the ink. 
"Now make a mark on the whiteboard with your finger, right there.  Good.   OK,  young lady,  the princess there in the leather shoes.  Julie Antonini.  If it's OK with you,  I'll just call you Jules.  Come up here, do the same thing that other kid just did."
Two fingerprints,  one bigger and more smudged than the other,   now sat on the whiteboard. 
"You see?  They seem the same until you look carefully -- and boom -- you suddenly notice different curves, different shades of black.    No two are the same.  That's why the police use them to catch thieves.  Nero made his mark.  No other Emperor, saint or devil, was quite like him. The guy founded Armenia, for crying out loud. The Christians thought he was the Antichrist!"
The students nodded,  smiling and uncomprehending.  The Italians started whispering to each other, because they'd heard Nero's story before.
"If that doesn't impress you, then look around you when you leave campus.   This whole neighborhood -- these streets and homes  right outside the gates of our school  ---  all named after him.   No,  better than that.    His tomb.  Imagine a guy so powerful  that 2000 years after he dies,  there are still stories circulating about how he poisoned all his enemies.   And 30,000 people  are here, today,  living right here in our part of town,   named after a stone and a hole in the ground where the soldiers dumped his corpse.     You want to know why I love Emperor Nero? -- just walk down the street from here. Down the Via Cassia.  You'll find  his tombstone,  inscribed top to bottom in Latin.  Right in the middle of a hundred stucco apartment buildings.  In 2000 years,  nobody ever knocked it down,  or chipped at it.  When the poor man was thirty-one years old,   younger than me,  he killed himself by plunging a sword into his own heart so he wouldn't be hacked to death in front of thousands of Roman subjects...he got the last laugh.     And then, 1800 years after his death,   he managed to make a fool out of General Napoleon.  It was the season of Napoleon's coronation as Emperor of France.  And he had this pet project,  a travelling hot air balloon that could travel long distance.  He tried to make it float all the way from Paris to Rome.  Then it reached the home stretch,  a few miles from town,  and sailed over the wrong tomb.   Nero's ghost was there waiting... and he was so nasty, so strong,  that he reached his ghostly hands out from underground and dragged that sucker down down and popped it.  And it came crashing down over the tomb."
After class, Beppo and Giulia waited until all the other students had left, and then went up to Mr. Z.
"Hello there,"  he said.  "You want me to change your grade already?  I haven't assigned any work!"
"Mr. Z," Beppo said.  "We are so glad to have you as our teacher.  You know very much about Italy and Rome history!"
"I try," he answered.  "What can I do for you?"
"There is maybe one small correction to your lesson that we would like to suggest,"  said Giulia. 
Mr. Z smiled.  "Oh really?  I'm listening." 
"The tomb...is not after all of Emperor Nero,"  Beppo said.  "That is an old little joke."
"An old wives' tale,"  Giulia added. 
"It is in reality not the tomb of the Emperor Nero,  but of another Roman officer,"  explained Beppo.  "Publio Vibio Mariano." 
"Who the hell was he?"  asked Mr. Z. 
"It is not exactly sure,  but it is said that he was a very responsible good man who completed his duties..."  Giulia said.  "And his wife arranged herself so that it would be builded -- after his passing away.  He is said to having lived a very long good life."
Mr. Z looked sternly at his new students, hands on hips.  "Tell me one interesting fact about Poobli Vibo, or whatever his name was. Besides that he was an ancient Roman." 
Giulia and Beppo smiled helplessly. 
"I rest my case,"  said Mr. Z.   The students looked at him,  still smiling but puzzled.  "That's exactly my point,"  he added, hoping to clarify. "Whom would you rather be?  The Emperor every one was scared of,  and invented legends about?  Or the forgotten bureaucrat?  Most people don't even know that he had a tombstone, let alone that Nero's ghost stole it from him."
"Excuse me,  Mr. Z?"  said Giulia.
"What?"
"Will you perhaps ask on the exam for the right answer about the provenance of this tomb?" 
"I don't know,"  Mr. Z replied.  "I haven't written the test yet.  Maybe I'll have a special question just for you."
******
Mr. Z was single, but he wouldn’t reveal his age.   Instead, he coyly quoted Dante, in Italian – “nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita , mi ritrovai in una selva oscura.”    Giulia was charmed – by the incongruity of his carefully rolled r’s and broad American vowels, by the reference to a great Italian poet.  She calculated his age before any one else in the class.  He had to be thirty-five  --  Dante’s age when  he wrote the Divine Comedy,  and halfway through the  70-year lifespan the Bible had assigned to humans. 
Giulia again stayed in class a couple of minutes after the bell rang,  and Mr. Z welcomed her with his hand, broad and tanned and confident, clasping her narrow shoulder.  "So, Jules, how can you drive me crazy today?"
“Mr. Z,” she murmured, “I know your secret.”
“Already?”
“You are thirty-five.”
“Yes.  Well, that’s not really a secret.” 
 “There’s another... matter it would please me to discuss.”
“Hurry up!"    
“Are you perhaps like Dante in another way?  Do you find yourself in a “dark forest?”
“A midlife crisis, you mean?”
“A place full of fear and mystery?”
Mr. Zuckerman laughed – a brassy, deep bellow of a laugh.  “You’re a funny girl!    We’ll have to talk more.”   He walked her to her next class as he was fumbling for a cigarette and a lighter. 
Another day,  he announced his love for Rome.   “You Romans live well,” he said.    “Smoke’s no sin in this town.  You light up in the light of day, and strike up matches with your conversations.”  
Indeed, the romance never ended with Mr. Z.  He drove to school on a motorcycle and started the day by lifting weights in the high school gym.  He wrote screenplays in his spare time, and sang Broadway tunes,  and played jazz violin at the bars in Trastevere.  He commanded an impressive vocabulary of local Roman curses– never referring to a place as “far away,” but only as “up the Madonna’s butt.” – When a rough draft of an essay came in more than a paragraph too long, he would return it ungraded,  and write in red block letters,  “Redo.  No ‘vita morte e miracoli,”  (life, death and miracles).”    His humor was effortless, his rebelliousness finely tuned. 
Beppo and Giulia studied with Mr. Z for three years. Giulia worshipped him quietly at first. She had always been a  responsible student,  but Mr. Zuckerman made her brilliant.  English Language and Literature became her labor of love. 
Her reward came at the end of her senior year, when Mr. Z finally chose her.  Among all the equally besotted girls in AP English class, she was his favorite.   He dubbed her “Girl Genius” for her cumulative achievements in English.  “What stands out most about Ms. Antonini,” he announced at the school awards ceremony,   “is her poise and confidence.” 
Their courtship began with a flourish during the AP English class on May 20, 1987,  the day she turned eighteen and a week or so after the AP exam.  The pace of work had slowed, so Beppo and Giulia's girlfriends organized a surprise birthday party for her.    They didn’t ask Mr. Zuckerman’s permission, because they knew he would agree. 
During the party,  he took her aside and paid her his first direct compliment.  “Ms. Antonini,”  he mentioned ,  “Your passport says you’re eighteen.   You have the beauty and freshness of an girl,  but the maturity and wisdom of a young woman twice your age.”
“Why?” she asked, breathless with joy.  
“I see your work, your writing.   I notice the good taste you show in your dress. I watch you take charge during group projects.” 
“So do you think that I am pretty and intelligent?” she responded, giggling. 
AP English was the last class before lunch, and Mr. Z let every one go early.  Giulia motioned to Beppo a silent "go, go!"  even though he usually waited for her.  Mr Z. handed her a scrap of paper with his home phone number,  which he never gave out to students.   “You are something special, Giulia. a young lady.  Not a lightweight  schoolgirl.  You deserve the best.”
“And you,  Mr. Z?” she asked. “Do you deserve the best?”
“Well,  I like to learn about the world,” he replied.  “I’m what Americans call a “diamond in the rough.  I like to savor the best.” 
“You need a good loving woman to smooth you out, make you safe for children. An educated woman who understands how to tame a man.”
“I don’t know if I want kids, though.”
“Oh, yes, Mr. Z,   you do.  I am sure that you will be good with kids.” 
“And I’ll be even better when I get my lucky break.  When I have money to buy kids a house and pay for their school.  And their karate, and ballet lessons, and all that.”
“Or you need a rich wife.”
“Well, yes…”
“Oh I understand,” she continued.  “You want to provide for her. But her money is just insurance,  if you become passe’ or out of style.  Our great directors here in Italy,  Fellini,  De Sica -- your countryfolk watched them for five minutes and lost interest. They could do the same to you.”
“Ms. Antonini.   Hollywood doesn’t work like that!   There’s always a new job, maybe for a cable TV station.  It’s like anything else.  You need to have experience and connections, a “raccomandazione.” She replied, with coy fluttering eyes,  “Your great country, the land of freedom?  They need “raccomandazioni?”  I am shocked!”   Then Giulia's pager buzzed.  She was the first student at the American School to get her own pager.
"I'm sorry,"  she said.  "I must call back immediately. Please do not leave!"  She ran to a payphone in the hallway.  Her father, Count Raffaello, was in town for the day from Perugia, and wanted to take her to a late lunch.   She told him she was finishing up important schoolwork;   could he wait until late afternoon?  She wanted to tease Mr. Z and keep the conversation going.  She ran back to Mr. Z's classroom, where he was busying himself rearranging books on a shelf,  and she said to him:   “Hollywood just called.   I have connections in high places.  They want me to find a talented writer.   I asked them, ‘should he be handsome too?” 
“OK,  Ms Antonini, that’s enough.”  She’d made him blush.  “Get out of here."
"I thought perhaps we could enjoy a pleasant meal together, Mr. Z?  When the school day has ended? I know a little Bistro,  a place for a tasty bowl of spaghetti all' arrabbiata.  It is the beest restaurant I know that is open all day,  and it is near the most beautiful park in Rome...  And I have my car!"
"Arrabbiata?  Angry pasta?"  Mr. Z said.  "I hope that doesn't mean that you are angry at me!"
"Oh no.  It's spicy, red-hot tomato sauce.  It means only that I love whatever is spicy and exciting!  Like you."
After the 4:00 spicy lunch,  Giulia and Mr. Z. strolled over to Villa Borghese and cuddled on a bench in front of the duck lake.   A distant uncle of Giulia's had willed his entire estate to the city of Rome in the years after World War II, and she made sure that Mr. Z. understood this.   Her uncle’s generosity, she whispered in his ear,  had made it possible for the two of them to fondle each other in a public park.  She gave him a present,   a worn-out margin-noted copy of Dante’s Divine Comedy that her mother had used a generation earlier when she was in school.  “I know how you like old books,  Mr. Z,”  she’d said softly.  “And this is special, because it is part of our family history. My mother died when I was young... but she left Dante behind...”  He took the present,  set it down on the bench,  and began kissing her full in the mouth.  When his hands reached inside her jeans,  bought specially for the occasion,  she kissed him harder.  No memory of their marriage ever came close to the unbridled, savage joy she felt in that moment,  when Mr Z’s hands made her into a woman. 
*******
In August of 1987,  Giulia's period was late.  She was consumed by hunger, even though she was vomiting every day.  Mystified, she visited the family physician and discovered she was pregnant.   Her father was traveling,  and her sisters were scolds,  so she only told Mr. Z.   He was cheerful that summer,  and in the mood for love,  and not just because he had a young Italian heiress strolling down the Via del Corso with him.  He had finally gotten his first call from Hollywood;  a cable television station was interested in purchasing three of his scripts.   "Whoops,"  he said to Giulia.  "That's OK, we'll figure it out. But you need to stop calling me Mr. Z.  I'm Bob.  I'm your boyfriend Bob." 
They eloped to Los Angeles,  and spent their first nights together in a hotel while he negotiated his contract.   Then the deal stalled, and Bob grew dark and moody.  “You better get yourself an abortion and go home.”  Giulia was jetlagged, nauseous, lonely.  She lay in the hotel bed crying, cursing his name,   begging him to reconsider.    She told Bob she hated him, that she’d lost her virginity to a foul mouthed boor who had mounted her like a horse, impregnated her and abandoned her in a roadside motel.   Then it was his turn.  “You spoiled, selfish, whining little princess,” he had said,  “I am paying for you to sleep at the Beverly Hills Hilton! And you said you were on the pill.”
Finally the contract came through.  By then she was into her thirteenth week and it was too late to abort.  Bob had gotten used to the idea of a baby, and he asked her to marry him.   “Hey, I can afford fatherhood now.”   He wanted to buy a house and throw parties where he meet stars, producers.  A family could be useful.   They exchanged vows at the Superior Court in downtown LA and he bought her a cheap ring.  “Trade it in later,” he told her,   “when I sign my next contract.”  
They got the house and the parties, and the second contract.  And Bob got his pound of flesh.  Every day of their marriage, in private and in public when no one was looking,  he fondled her breasts like beach balls,  his gesture of ownership.   He didn’t stop when Raffaello was born and the nursing made them ache.  The one time she complained,  Bob was silent for three days and wouldn’t sleep in their bed.   She finally gave in and crept into the guest room,  bare breasts exposed, and after he’d fondled her to his heart’s content she let him come at her from behind.   She hurt for three days.
The man’s bedroom violations would have been tolerable to her if he had acted like a gentleman outside, but  no.  He passed gas in public, and gobbled his dinner faster than she could carry it to the table.  His language was more littered with “fuck” and “shit” and “bitch” than the most illiterate peasant on her father’s estate.  Perhaps English was simply a less elegant language, but then why did he never try to learn proper Italian?   The Roman curses were as far as he would go.   
Bob was fat, boorish and out of control.   And yet, he had one redeeming quality – his puppy love.  For the 22 years of their marriage, he was completely faithful, more than Giulia would have expected.  He never stopped admiring her body; she would accompany him to late night parties where every woman guest under thirty was dressed like a two-coin whore, and he would never give them a passing glance.  "I'll take your ass over theirs any day, baby." And then he would grab it.   He  was that way until the end,  until his heart suddenly stopped beating and his worn out body gave up the ghost in their Beverly Hills backyard,  twenty-two years later in the summer of 2009.      
*****
(Close up on the cartoon face of Captain Truth)
"And Countess,  was that child..."
"Count Raffaello Antonini Zuckerman.  Yes he was."
"Sounds like an inauspicious beginning to your marriage."
"And how do you feel about your son now?"
"He is certainly successful at business;  his grandfather would have been proud of his savoire-faire."
"And what are your thoughts about his line of work?"
"This is your last question,  darling?"
"If it has to be..."
"My son is talented,  I am sure you will agree.   The medicine he has invented  -- I am a satisfied customer.  So are my sisters.  I wish only that my father could have lived to take it.  The new town he and his business partner have built, up there in orbit-- I have booked reservations on the Space Elevator and rented a condominium for the month of August, when it is too hot for any one to stay in Rome.  Instead of the beach where I usually go,  I shall gladly pay a visit to the new settlement.  You may ask me again then --  and I will tell you what I think.   Until then, dear,  I think you had better press on with your interviews until you get the story you want."
"Well-said, Countess."
"Come visit me again soon.  Perhaps without asking so many questions..."
(Dissolve to Black)
Well,  friends and fellow rebels against The Man,  that's it for today.  We continue with the next episode of "Real Renaissance Revealed" tomorrow,  same time, same place,  on Before the Record.  The only place on the Web where we report the news before it breaks.   Have a good day,  and remember -- don't let them fool you!    The evil urge is no less necessary than the good,  indeed even more necessary,  for without it man would woo no woman and beget no children, build no house and engage in no economic activity…   it is called “the yeast in the dough,”   the ferment placed in the soul by God, without which the human dough does not rise.    (Martin Buber,   “Good and Evil”)




Prologue


Bradley Chu, Investor,  strides purposefully into his sleeping quarters with Book in one hand and suitcase in the other.   He sets the suitcase on the bed,  sits down immediately at the redwood desk and opens the Book.  The sound of a ringing bell alerts him that a message has arrived from an anonymous sender; it's  entitled "Real Renaissance Revealed." 


'Bradley waves a hand and murmurs a password.  Vague bursts of light shoot up from his bookscreen, and begin to take shape.  Cursing in guttural Chinese,   he waves his hand again and the images hovering in the air dissolve and re-appear.   He glares at the screen, folds his arms, and watches,  cursing and muttering to himself all the while.


*****


Welcome,  Truth Tellers of the World!  It's June 15,  2049, and you are watching BEFORE THE RECORD,  where we catch the news before it breaks.  I'm Captain Truth,  reporting from Agello, Italy.   We're just a stone's throw from the beautiful medieval city of Perugia,  where you can climb the cobblestone hillsides,  learn Italian in the sidewalk cafes and purchase world-famous Perugina chocolates at a deep discount if you click on the ad to my right.  


We continue now with the second episode of Real Renaissance Revealed,  our investigation of the biggest international scandal of the 21st century. 


Our first interview today is with the irresistible, and irresistibly beautiful, Countess Giulia Antonini Zuckerman, of Perugia, Italy. We're visiting her in Agello, her ancestral homestead in the hills above town. 


Countess Giulia may or may not be guilty of misappropriating vast sums of government money -- or of hawking poisonous medications that claim to lengthen lives --   but this I know:   she has one son,  Count Raffaello, who lives in the United States.  That's right, Count Raffaello Antonini Zuckerman.  Does he sound like a vampire to you?  He does to me too. You'll never hear him use that name, it might make too many people suspicious of his real motives.   He's last scion of the Antonini family.  He's also an American businessman and scientist,   known to the United States public as Ralph "Zuck" Zuckerman.  Count Raffaello is none other than the Founder himself, the Doctor Faustus of Beverly Hills, the CEO of that now infamous corporation, Renaissance Pharmaceuticals,  the man whose haughty negligence and overweening ambition may have cheated you and millions of your fellow citizens of billions of taxpayer dollars over the last thirty years.


 Don't worry,  Mom didn't hear this introduction;  I'm  doing a voiceover.  In  fact, she doesn't know who I am or why I'm putting her on my show. But you do, because I'll tell you.  We're here to find out how the sins of the Mothers are visited upon the Sons!


 (The voice of Captain Truth changes audibly to a much dirtier, less engineered sound.)


 "Good morning, Countess!"


"Good morning, my friend.   I believe this is my first interview with a cartoon character."


"Countess!  Never judge a character by his cartoon!   Ladies and gentlemen, Countess Antonini is, unlike me, made of flesh and blood,  and she  turns eighty this year with nary a blemish or wrinkle on her cheeks nor a strand of white hair.  No surprise to any of you,  I imagine,  that she jogs two miles every day and has just taken the helm of her 500-million-dollar family business, the Antonini Wineries,  in the wake of her father's retirement at the tender age of 115!   I came looking for the Countess at this 18th century villa here in the hills of Tuscany.."


"Umbria, darling." 


"Umbria, yes.  Countess Giulia shares the ancestral family home with her three sisters,  Sara, Elena and Raffaella,  all in their nineties.  There they are,  sitting at a wooden table on their terrace with glasses of wine in their hands.   If you look carefully behind us,  you'll see the rolling green hills in the distance, and the vineyards in the valleys down below. What a view!   Right before we got started,    Lady Giulia offered me and my crew a couple of bottles of these prize wines here  (close-up on the label of the wine bottle;  "Antonini, Pinot Grigio 2049")  and a plate of local goat cheeses, all available for round-the world overnight shipments, at bargain prices,  through a link on the right side of this page. You can also reach the Antonini Vineyards and obtain our TruthTellers Rebate simply by saying the following coupon code:  Tomba Di Nerone.  That's Tomba Di Nerone. More on that strange name later.   Now, as you'll see in a moment,  the Countess was clearly  delighted at the opportunity to take us with her on her long, strange  trip down memory lane!"


"Delighted?  It depends which route we take,  my dear.  There are certain dark corners where I would prefer not to get lost."


"So, Countess. How did you meet your husband?" 


"I was his English student at the American School down in Rome."


"He taught you well, I see.  Your English is flawless. And how did you fall in love?" 


"Oh dear...   If you could have seen him when he was a young man,  prancing in front of a classroom,  you would understand."


"Well then,  Countess,  let's take a look!   Is this a fair resemblance?"   (Closeup on the face of a handsome but stern-looking man in his mid-thirties,  dark-haired and even-featured, unsmiling, thin-lipped, with a mustache and a scraggly goatee)


"He was not so thin and -- pointed, darling. There was... a certain sweetness..."


The husband's face dissolves and reconstitutes itself to look decidedly younger and more full-lipped.  The face breaks out into a winning,  confident grin,  every white tooth showing." 


"That's more like it!"


"And was it just his handsome face, Countess,  or did he seduce you by other means?"


"Well, you need to hear my story to answer that question..."


"All right folks,  I give you Countess Antonini,  who will share with us the story of how all the madness started.   Believe it or not,   every story has a beginning,  even if it never ends." 




Chapter 1:    Nero's Tomb (Tomba Di Nerone),  Rome, Italy,  the mid 1980s


Since the 1560s the Antoninis of  Central Italy had farmed acres of chestnuts and garbanzo beans, hillsides full of vineyards and olive groves.  They’d harvested barrels upon barrels of juicy, sweet red grapes and carefully ripened olives,  pounded and squeezed them into oils and wines so flavorful and rich that the finest restaurants in Paris and London would clamor for them.  The names of Antoninis were attached to a dozen marble and stone palaces in Rome and Frascati, Viterbo and Orvieto, Perugia and Florence.   


Countess Giulia Antonini, born in 1969,   was the last of the four daughters of Count Raffaello Antonini de Novellis,  the last heiress of the Antonini family,  and the first in her family to be sent to the New World -- although in the beginning she only went there in spirit, not in body.  


Giulia grew up with her father and three sisters in the family homestead outside Perugia.  Her mother died early on, felled by breast cancer when Giulia was only three.  She had private tutors for much of her childhood.  But her father, Count Raffaello,   was a practical man,  indeed perhaps the cleverest businessman the family had seen in 250 years since his ancestor, Ercole,  had opened a high-end wineshop in a fashionable area of London. 


As Giulia matured,  and it became clear to Count Raffaello that he would not remarry or bear any male heirs,  he began thinking ahead to the future of the family winery and decided two things;   his daughters needed to learn how to run the business,  and it was time for Antonini to expand its United States market. 


Sara, Elena and Raffaella were old enough to work;  the Count could train them to manage the winery.  The three of them together might just have the brains to keep the business going another generation,  although it was a source of endless frustration to him that not one of his girls seemed in any hurry to marry or have children. 


 Giulia, at least,  had an independent streak in her,  a drive to conquer,  that Count Raffaello hadn't seen in his three older daughters.  She also had the looks -- the slenderness, the dark hair,  the soulful black eyes that Americans liked to see in an Italian woman -- all of which could only the winery succeed.   And so, the youngest of the Countesses was slated to take charge of the booming American market.  


When Giulia turned fourteen in the summer of 1983,  Count Raffaello decided to set her up with an apartment and a nanny-governess-housekeeper in an Antonini-owned building in downtown Rome.  She would be living by herself, a three-hour drive away from home;  it was an unconventional arrangement.    But if any of the Antonini girls could handle it,  Giulia could. Raffaello also enrolled her at the expensive, exclusive American School Of Rome.  In that setting, he hoped,  his daughter would gain some mastery of the English spoken by the nouveau riche families of California and New York, who were rapidly becoming the most extravagant and faithful customers of Antonini Wineries.   And even better,  she might meet a suitable husband, perhaps even a young man with a good command of English and of the American way of doing business.  That would be the ideal outcome. 


Count Raffaello met with the entire staff of his estate and handpicked the appropriate lady to look after his young daughter.   Her name was Norisa Minucci Romero;  thirty-five or so,  a thin, pale bundle of energy,  organized and methodical and eager to better herself;  she had studied up to the eighth grade, and she was married with a son just Giulia's age.  Her husband Ferdinando Romero was a negretto,  a little blacky from the Philippines.  God knew how he had ended up in Agello,  but it had something to do with the foreigners' school over in Perugia. He might have come to learn Italian,  snagged some under-the-table handyman work, and found a way to hide from the authorities, never bothering to go back home.   He was an earnest little churchgoer,  and seemed to want to make an honest living;  and between his religious devotion and Norisa's watchful eye,  Count Raffaello was sure they wouldn't let their son get into trouble or become a bad influence on young and comely Giulia. 


And so,  shortly after wrapping up their family vacation on the beach at Anzio,  where they always spent August sunning themselves with all the good families from Rome and Umbria,  the Count, his four daughters,  Norisa, Ferdinando and their son Beppo packed up two cars with the essentials -- family portraits,  fine linens,  porcelain plates from the potters' town of Mugnano just down the road from the family homestead.  Ferdinando borrowed one of the Antonini Winery trucks and loaded onto it everything else that Giulia might need,  the bed and couches, the Moroccan rugs and glass table, and a new bidet for the bathroom.     Norisa gave a last-minute tour of the Agello estate to the cousins who could take over the jobs she and her husband were doing -- cooking and cleaning and home repairs,  oil-pressing and olive-tree pruning.   And then the caravan left -- the Count's Mercedes Benz, the Romeros' ten-year old Fiat clunker,  a smoke-belching truck,  and the two families,  and one directly behind the  other,  the three vehicles trundled along country roads, and, for the last few miles, an unavoidable divided highway,   until they reached the Villa Antonini di Trastevere. 


A rough-and-tumble 18th century building,  three storeys tall and laced with suggestive graffiti that needed to be removed == Norisa put it on her mental list -- ,  the Villa clung to the edge of a narrow, hilly,  cobblestone street called Salita di San'Onofrio.   It was among the dingiest of the family properties, and the only one that they'd been willing to convert into condominium apartments.  There were few murals or statues to speak of,  and only one tiny courtyard with a stone fountain,  but it was perfect for the rental market because of its location on a picturesque alleyway that snaked down hill from the cypress and pine walkways of Gianicolo Park,  where English and American artists came to spend a year at the Academy of Rome,   to the warren of cobblestone streets southwest of the Tiber River,  known as Trastevere,  that had become so favored by tourists and foreign sojourners.    Indeed, the Palazzo Antonini was a cash cow; renters came and went every year without ever staying long enough to benefit from the absurdities of Roman rent control laws.  Giulia's neighbors were a revolving-door crowd of professors on sabbatical  and college students on their junior year abroad, mostly from the United States.  Some tenants enrolled their children at the American School and asked young Giulia to babysit.  She didn't need the money,  but she did it anyway because she liked the English practice and loved to play with little children.  


Norisa managed the building finances and paid Giulia's American School tuition,  but young Giulia collected all the leftover profit from the rentals after bills, taxes and salaries had been paid,  and she could buy her fill of designer clothes and jewelry, weekend excursions to European capitals with her sisters,  summers at the beach in Anzio;  when Giulia's classmates at the American School realized the extent of her money and freedom,   she quickly became one of the most popular girls and got invited to parties every weekend. 


In the years that Giulia lived at Salita San Onofrio, Norisa  managed the property.   She  also ironed and repaired the clothes, cooked the food, washed the dishes and cleaned the apartment, and even checked to see that Giulia had done her homework.   Although Norisa lived, technically, with her husband and son in the basement apartment reserved for doormen and groundskeepers,  she spent more time at Giulia's place than at her own. 


Norisa's husband Ferdinando was a quiet man; he took care of the plumbing and electrical problems and spent a lot of time at church on Sundays.  Norisa's son Beppo,  on the other hand,  was friendly and talkative, exactly Giulia's age,  and safely, oddly immune to the charm of Giulia's perfumes and leather purses and designer high heels.   When the two youngsters were together,   studying English or Latin or math,  travelling to and from school field trips,  going out to beer halls on the weekend evenings with their friends,    Giulia forgot she was an Antonini,  and Beppo appeared to forget he was a poor mixed-race farmboy from the Umbrian countryside.  


This was not entirely by accident, of course.  Norisa had attended school only to the eighth grade,  but she knew how to take care of business-- that's why Count Raffaello had trusted her with his daughter.  She had convinced the Count to pay a portion of Beppo's tuition at the American School.  The Count,  whose business instincts rarely failed him,   took care of the rest of Beppo's tuition with a bit of clever politicking.   His opening gambit with the Admissions Director, who also moonlighted as the school's chief fundraiser,  was to make vague promises of future donations   A week before Beppo's case appeared before the largely American Board of Trustees of the school, the Count presented them with a few discreet gifts -- cases of the highest-quality Antonini wines and olive oil, worth hundreds of dollars (but not even a tenth of the tuition.)   He then pointed out in a private meeting with the Headmaster that Beppo Romero showed great promise, although his father was a simple plumber-electrician and his mother a housekeeper.  With the right kind of  cultivation,  Beppo might make an interesting candidate for a top-ranked American university, hence boosting the Stateside reputation of the American School!  Furthermore, as Count Raffaello pointed out to the Headmaster,  Beppo's English was already decent -- in part because his Filipino father had learned it in Filipino schools before emigrating to Italy. And finally,  Beppo and Giulia would help one another survive the rigorous academic climate of the American School, with its Advanced Placement courses and International Bacculareate Exams, because they would study together and learn quickly-- indeed, they might help to make each other virtually bilingual.  The Count wrapped up his sales pitch by returning to the possibility (in unspecified later years)  of an Antonini Scholarship Fund,  and by meeting's end he'd cajoled the headmaster into offering Beppo a generous scholarship that covered the balance of his tuition, the cost of all books,  and even his soccer uniform.   


And so it was that Countess Giulia Antonini and Beppo Romero started the ninth grade together at the American School of Rome,  then landed together in "English as a Second Language" class in tenth grade,  and passed into honors English and then finally into Advanced Placement,  thus remaining his two most dedicated students until graduation.  They grew up together, discovering America under the bemused eye of their English teacher, Mr. Robert Zuckerman.   


Mr Z arrived a year after Beppo and Giulia,  like them a newcomer to Rome and to the American School,  and he arrived in style.   Neither Beppo nor Giulia ever forgot their first glimpse of him.  In the early morning of the first day of classes in 1984,  the year they began tenth grade, the kids took the bus to school together. They watched from the windows as a speeding motorcyclist careened around the corner of the Via Cassia in a jet-black helmet and sunglasses ,  and sped noisily past them.   In the midst of the rush hour traffic jam,  he weaved his noisy way in and out of car lanes,  rumbled across the street, and sped through the gates of school and halfway across the parking lot until he'd slowed down enough to stop.   The motorcyclist turned out to be Mr. Z --the only teacher they'd ever met who wasn't afraid to own the roads with his bike.   Soon after Beppo and Giulia found their way to first period ESL,   he entered with a flourish,  still wearing his sunglasses,  and   made two announcements that forever sealed his reputation among students. 


First of all,  Mr. Z. was not a professional teacher but rather  a writer from Los Angeles,  author of a dozen movie scripts,  who wanted a break from “show biz.”  


Second of all,  the new teacher from Hollywood CA was a fan of none other than Nero -- that vicious Ancient Roman Emperor who had persecuted Christians for refusing to bow down to him;   murdered family members before they could steal the throne; wasted the untold riches of the Roman Empire to build a cluster of glamorous palaces in the center of the Imperial capital,  a complex that only the Emperor himself had been allowed to enter. 


"Look, I know Nero was no saint,"  Mr. Z said, forgetting that his students could barely understand English. "He was a gangster.  But boy, oh boy -- did he leave fingerprints!" 


Beppo raised his hand. 


"What is it, kid?"


"Fingerprints?"  asked Beppo.  "Excuse me,  what are fingerprints?"


"Come up here, kid --- Beppo, right?  Mind if I call you Joe? Joseph, it's English for Giuseppe, right?   Helps me remember you better.  Put your finger here, Joe,  in this bowl of black ink. I brought it to class especially for you." 


Beppo obediently stuck his finger into the ink. 


"Now make a mark on the whiteboard with your finger, right there.  Good.   OK,  young lady,  the princess there in the leather shoes.  Julie Antonini.  If it's OK with you,  I'll just call you Jules.  Come up here, do the same thing that other kid just did."


Two fingerprints,  one bigger and more smudged than the other,   now sat on the whiteboard. 


"You see?  They seem the same until you look carefully -- and boom -- you suddenly notice different curves, different shades of black.    No two are the same.  That's why the police use them to catch thieves.  Nero made his mark.  No other Emperor, saint or devil, was quite like him. The guy founded Armenia, for crying out loud. The Christians thought he was the Antichrist!"


The students nodded,  smiling and uncomprehending.  The Italians started whispering to each other, because they'd heard Nero's story before.


"If that doesn't impress you, then look around you when you leave campus.   This whole neighborhood -- these streets and homes  right outside the gates of our school  ---  all named after him.   No,  better than that.    His tomb.  Imagine a guy so powerful  that 2000 years after he dies,  there are still stories circulating about how he poisoned all his enemies.   And 30,000 people  are here, today,  living right here in our part of town,   named after a stone and a hole in the ground where the soldiers dumped his corpse.     You want to know why I love Emperor Nero? -- just walk down the street from here. Down the Via Cassia.  You'll find  his tombstone,  inscribed top to bottom in Latin.  Right in the middle of a hundred stucco apartment buildings.  In 2000 years,  nobody ever knocked it down,  or chipped at it.  When the poor man was thirty-one years old,   younger than me,  he killed himself by plunging a sword into his own heart so he wouldn't be hacked to death in front of thousands of Roman subjects...he got the last laugh.     And then, 1800 years after his death,   he managed to make a fool out of General Napoleon.  It was the season of Napoleon's coronation as Emperor of France.  And he had this pet project,  a travelling hot air balloon that could travel long distance.  He tried to make it float all the way from Paris to Rome.  Then it reached the home stretch,  a few miles from town,  and sailed over the wrong tomb.   Nero's ghost was there waiting... and he was so nasty, so strong,  that he reached his ghostly hands out from underground and dragged that sucker down down and popped it.  And it came crashing down over the tomb."


After class, Beppo and Giulia waited until all the other students had left, and then went up to Mr. Z.


"Hello there,"  he said.  "You want me to change your grade already?  I haven't assigned any work!"


"Mr. Z," Beppo said.  "We are so glad to have you as our teacher.  You know very much about Italy and Rome history!"


"I try," he answered.  "What can I do for you?"


"There is maybe one small correction to your lesson that we would like to suggest,"  said Giulia. 


Mr. Z smiled.  "Oh really?  I'm listening." 


"The tomb...is not after all of Emperor Nero,"  Beppo said.  "That is an old little joke."


"An old wives' tale,"  Giulia added. 


"It is in reality not the tomb of the Emperor Nero,  but of another Roman officer,"  explained Beppo.  "Publio Vibio Mariano." 


"Who the hell was he?"  asked Mr. Z. 


"It is not exactly sure,  but it is said that he was a very responsible good man who completed his duties..."  Giulia said.  "And his wife arranged herself so that it would be builded -- after his passing away.  He is said to having lived a very long good life."


Mr. Z looked sternly at his new students, hands on hips.  "Tell me one interesting fact about Poobli Vibo, or whatever his name was. Besides that he was an ancient Roman." 


Giulia and Beppo smiled helplessly. 


"I rest my case,"  said Mr. Z.   The students looked at him,  still smiling but puzzled.  "That's exactly my point,"  he added, hoping to clarify. "Whom would you rather be?  The Emperor every one was scared of,  and invented legends about?  Or the forgotten bureaucrat?  Most people don't even know that he had a tombstone, let alone that Nero's ghost stole it from him."


"Excuse me,  Mr. Z?"  said Giulia.


"What?"


"Will you perhaps ask on the exam for the right answer about the provenance of this tomb?" 


"I don't know,"  Mr. Z replied.  "I haven't written the test yet.  Maybe I'll have a special question just for you."


******


Mr. Z was single, but he wouldn’t reveal his age.   Instead, he coyly quoted Dante, in Italian – “nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita , mi ritrovai in una selva oscura.”    Giulia was charmed – by the incongruity of his carefully rolled r’s and broad American vowels, by the reference to a great Italian poet.  She calculated his age before any one else in the class.  He had to be thirty-five  --  Dante’s age when  he wrote the Divine Comedy,  and halfway through the  70-year lifespan the Bible had assigned to humans. 


Giulia again stayed in class a couple of minutes after the bell rang,  and Mr. Z welcomed her with his hand, broad and tanned and confident, clasping her narrow shoulder.  "So, Jules, how can you drive me crazy today?"


“Mr. Z,” she murmured, “I know your secret.”


“Already?”


“You are thirty-five.”


“Yes.  Well, that’s not really a secret.” 


 “There’s another... matter it would please me to discuss.”


“Hurry up!"    


“Are you perhaps like Dante in another way?  Do you find yourself in a “dark forest?”


“A midlife crisis, you mean?”


“A place full of fear and mystery?”


Mr. Zuckerman laughed – a brassy, deep bellow of a laugh.  “You’re a funny girl!    We’ll have to talk more.”   He walked her to her next class as he was fumbling for a cigarette and a lighter. 


Another day,  he announced his love for Rome.   “You Romans live well,” he said.    “Smoke’s no sin in this town.  You light up in the light of day, and strike up matches with your conversations.”  


Indeed, the romance never ended with Mr. Z.  He drove to school on a motorcycle and started the day by lifting weights in the high school gym.  He wrote screenplays in his spare time, and sang Broadway tunes,  and played jazz violin at the bars in Trastevere.  He commanded an impressive vocabulary of local Roman curses– never referring to a place as “far away,” but only as “up the Madonna’s butt.” – When a rough draft of an essay came in more than a paragraph too long, he would return it ungraded,  and write in red block letters,  “Redo.  No ‘vita morte e miracoli,”  (life, death and miracles).”    His humor was effortless, his rebelliousness finely tuned. 


Beppo and Giulia studied with Mr. Z for three years. Giulia worshipped him quietly at first. She had always been a  responsible student,  but Mr. Zuckerman made her brilliant.  English Language and Literature became her labor of love. 


Her reward came at the end of her senior year, when Mr. Z finally chose her.  Among all the equally besotted girls in AP English class, she was his favorite.   He dubbed her “Girl Genius” for her cumulative achievements in English.  “What stands out most about Ms. Antonini,” he announced at the school awards ceremony,   “is her poise and confidence.” 


Their courtship began with a flourish during the AP English class on May 20, 1987,  the day she turned eighteen and a week or so after the AP exam.  The pace of work had slowed, so Beppo and Giulia's girlfriends organized a surprise birthday party for her.    They didn’t ask Mr. Zuckerman’s permission, because they knew he would agree. 


During the party,  he took her aside and paid her his first direct compliment.  “Ms. Antonini,”  he mentioned ,  “Your passport says you’re eighteen.   You have the beauty and freshness of an girl,  but the maturity and wisdom of a young woman twice your age.”


“Why?” she asked, breathless with joy.  


“I see your work, your writing.   I notice the good taste you show in your dress. I watch you take charge during group projects.” 


“So do you think that I am pretty and intelligent?” she responded, giggling. 


AP English was the last class before lunch, and Mr. Z let every one go early.  Giulia motioned to Beppo a silent "go, go!"  even though he usually waited for her.  Mr Z. handed her a scrap of paper with his home phone number,  which he never gave out to students.   “You are something special, Giulia. a young lady.  Not a lightweight  schoolgirl.  You deserve the best.”


“And you,  Mr. Z?” she asked. “Do you deserve the best?”


“Well,  I like to learn about the world,” he replied.  “I’m what Americans call a “diamond in the rough.  I like to savor the best.” 


“You need a good loving woman to smooth you out, make you safe for children. An educated woman who understands how to tame a man.”


“I don’t know if I want kids, though.”


“Oh, yes, Mr. Z,   you do.  I am sure that you will be good with kids.” 


“And I’ll be even better when I get my lucky break.  When I have money to buy kids a house and pay for their school.  And their karate, and ballet lessons, and all that.”


“Or you need a rich wife.”


“Well, yes…”


“Oh I understand,” she continued.  “You want to provide for her. But her money is just insurance,  if you become passe’ or out of style.  Our great directors here in Italy,  Fellini,  De Sica -- your countryfolk watched them for five minutes and lost interest. They could do the same to you.”


“Ms. Antonini.   Hollywood doesn’t work like that!   There’s always a new job, maybe for a cable TV station.  It’s like anything else.  You need to have experience and connections, a “raccomandazione.” She replied, with coy fluttering eyes,  “Your great country, the land of freedom?  They need “raccomandazioni?”  I am shocked!”   Then Giulia's pager buzzed.  She was the first student at the American School to get her own pager.


"I'm sorry,"  she said.  "I must call back immediately. Please do not leave!"  She ran to a payphone in the hallway.  Her father, Count Raffaello, was in town for the day from Perugia, and wanted to take her to a late lunch.   She told him she was finishing up important schoolwork;   could he wait until late afternoon?  She wanted to tease Mr. Z and keep the conversation going.  She ran back to Mr. Z's classroom, where he was busying himself rearranging books on a shelf,  and she said to him:   “Hollywood just called.   I have connections in high places.  They want me to find a talented writer.   I asked them, ‘should he be handsome too?” 


“OK,  Ms Antonini, that’s enough.”  She’d made him blush.  “Get out of here."


"I thought perhaps we could enjoy a pleasant meal together, Mr. Z?  When the school day has ended? I know a little Bistro,  a place for a tasty bowl of spaghetti all' arrabbiata.  It is the beest restaurant I know that is open all day,  and it is near the most beautiful park in Rome...  And I have my car!"


"Arrabbiata?  Angry pasta?"  Mr. Z said.  "I hope that doesn't mean that you are angry at me!"


"Oh no.  It's spicy, red-hot tomato sauce.  It means only that I love whatever is spicy and exciting!  Like you."


After the 4:00 spicy lunch,  Giulia and Mr. Z. strolled over to Villa Borghese and cuddled on a bench in front of the duck lake.   A distant uncle of Giulia's had willed his entire estate to the city of Rome in the years after World War II, and she made sure that Mr. Z. understood this.   Her uncle’s generosity, she whispered in his ear,  had made it possible for the two of them to fondle each other in a public park.  She gave him a present,   a worn-out margin-noted copy of Dante’s Divine Comedy that her mother had used a generation earlier when she was in school.  “I know how you like old books,  Mr. Z,”  she’d said softly.  “And this is special, because it is part of our family history. My mother died when I was young... but she left Dante behind...”  He took the present,  set it down on the bench,  and began kissing her full in the mouth.  When his hands reached inside her jeans,  bought specially for the occasion,  she kissed him harder.  No memory of their marriage ever came close to the unbridled, savage joy she felt in that moment,  when Mr Z’s hands made her into a woman. 


*******


In August of 1987,  Giulia's period was late.  She was consumed by hunger, even though she was vomiting every day.  Mystified, she visited the family physician and discovered she was pregnant.   Her father was traveling,  and her sisters were scolds,  so she only told Mr. Z.   He was cheerful that summer,  and in the mood for love,  and not just because he had a young Italian heiress strolling down the Via del Corso with him.  He had finally gotten his first call from Hollywood;  a cable television station was interested in purchasing three of his scripts.   "Whoops,"  he said to Giulia.  "That's OK, we'll figure it out. But you need to stop calling me Mr. Z.  I'm Bob.  I'm your boyfriend Bob." 


They eloped to Los Angeles,  and spent their first nights together in a hotel while he negotiated his contract.   Then the deal stalled, and Bob grew dark and moody.  “You better get yourself an abortion and go home.”  Giulia was jetlagged, nauseous, lonely.  She lay in the hotel bed crying, cursing his name,   begging him to reconsider.    She told Bob she hated him, that she’d lost her virginity to a foul mouthed boor who had mounted her like a horse, impregnated her and abandoned her in a roadside motel.   Then it was his turn.  “You spoiled, selfish, whining little princess,” he had said,  “I am paying for you to sleep at the Beverly Hills Hilton! And you said you were on the pill.”


Finally the contract came through.  By then she was into her thirteenth week and it was too late to abort.  Bob had gotten used to the idea of a baby, and he asked her to marry him.   “Hey, I can afford fatherhood now.”   He wanted to buy a house and throw parties where he meet stars, producers.  A family could be useful.   They exchanged vows at the Superior Court in downtown LA and he bought her a cheap ring.  “Trade it in later,” he told her,   “when I sign my next contract.”  


They got the house and the parties, and the second contract.  And Bob got his pound of flesh.  Every day of their marriage, in private and in public when no one was looking,  he fondled her breasts like beach balls,  his gesture of ownership.   He didn’t stop when Raffaello was born and the nursing made them ache.  The one time she complained,  Bob was silent for three days and wouldn’t sleep in their bed.   She finally gave in and crept into the guest room,  bare breasts exposed, and after he’d fondled her to his heart’s content she let him come at her from behind.   She hurt for three days.


The man’s bedroom violations would have been tolerable to her if he had acted like a gentleman outside, but  no.  He passed gas in public, and gobbled his dinner faster than she could carry it to the table.  His language was more littered with “fuck” and “shit” and “bitch” than the most illiterate peasant on her father’s estate.  Perhaps English was simply a less elegant language, but then why did he never try to learn proper Italian?   The Roman curses were as far as he would go.   


Bob was fat, boorish and out of control.   And yet, he had one redeeming quality – his puppy love.  For the 22 years of their marriage, he was completely faithful, more than Giulia would have expected.  He never stopped admiring her body; she would accompany him to late night parties where every woman guest under thirty was dressed like a two-coin whore, and he would never give them a passing glance.  "I'll take your ass over theirs any day, baby." And then he would grab it.   He  was that way until the end,  until his heart suddenly stopped beating and his worn out body gave up the ghost in their Beverly Hills backyard,  twenty-two years later in the summer of 2009.      


*****


(Close up on the cartoon face of Captain Truth)


"And Countess,  was that child..."


"Count Raffaello Antonini Zuckerman.  Yes he was."


"Sounds like an inauspicious beginning to your marriage."


"Well, darling,  every love story has its highs and lows." 


"Did you want that baby,  Countess?"


"As I said;  by the time Mr. Z had second thoughts,  it was too late to abort. And in my family,  it is customary to adapt to all the madness life brings us -- civil wars between princely families, a collapse in the wine market,  a beloved mother murdered by her cancer cells...  One adapts and adjusts. "


"How did you feel when Raffaello was born?" 


"I thought that he needed to learn how to nurse.  He insisted on biting my nipples until they were flaming red.  Eventually he learned." 


"And how do you feel about your son now?"


"He is certainly successful at business;  his grandfather would have been proud of his savoire-faire."


"And what are your thoughts about his line of work?"


"This is your last question,  darling?"


"If it has to be..."


"My son is talented,  I am sure you will agree.   The medicine he has invented  -- I am a satisfied customer.  So are my sisters.  I wish only that my father could have lived to take it.  The new town he and his business partner have built, up there in orbit-- I have booked reservations on the Space Elevator and rented a condominium for the month of August, when it is too hot for any one to stay in Rome.  Instead of the beach where I usually go,  I shall gladly pay a visit to the new settlement.  You may ask me again then --  and I will tell you what I think.   Until then, dear,  I think you had better press on with your interviews until you get the story you want."


"Well-said, Countess."


"Come visit me again soon.  Perhaps without asking so many questions..."


(Dissolve to Black)


Well,  friends and fellow rebels against The Man,  that's it for today.  We continue with the next episode of "Real Renaissance Revealed" tomorrow,  same time, same place,  on Before the Record.  The only place on the Web where we report the news before it breaks.   Have a good day,  and remember -- don't let them fool you!    

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

The Visit by Deepa Kandaswamy




It was an unexpected visit. Mahatma Gandhi in my home? All the books said he was assassinated 60 years ago by some chap name Godse. 

He was standing there smiling in the white dhoti and shawl looking fragile like Ben Kingsley in the movie.

I rubbed my eyes.

"Deepa?," he said smiling at me.

"Yes, Gandhiji." I hesitated.

"I'm not Gandhiji. Call me Mohandas or just M. Gandhi was my caste name and if you remember I didn't believe in caste," he said and broke out laughing.

"Okay M. What are you doing here?" 

I thought to myself. What the crap? Was this some fancy dress prank by friends or was I on some reality show? I looked around for cameras including a cell phone. M? Wasn't that James Bond's boss name?

But Gandhiji, I mean M was smiling at me patiently.

"Yesterday, you wished I was here to help the world. I'm here in answer to your wish. Now you are asking me why I'm here?" 

"Ehh... How did you know that? Did you visit Obama as well? He said he wished he had the chance to have dinner with you."

"Obama...? Who is he? I don't think he wished to see me. If he truly wished it, my spirit would have been summoned. Anyway, how do you want me to help you?" 

"Obama is the President of the United States of America. So he didn't really wish to have dinner with you?! I don't really know where to begin. Pakistan is sending terrorists into India. Then there is Osama who is trying to attack countries in Europe and USA. Africa is in deep trouble with dictators and illegal trade apart from poverty and human trafficking. South America and the rest of Asia have their own problems from drugs to terrorism to swine flu. As if that is not enough, the entire planet is suffering from global warming. No one seems to be at peace in this world. Can you do something about it?"

M smiled and said, "You have already taken the first step - defined the problem. The next is to see what you can do about it as a human being on earth. Every single drop counts or we won't have rivers, seas or oceans. Do your bit and ask your friends and family to do theirs. That is how the people of the Indian subcontinent got their freedom. Stay on the path of truth even though it is a tough road to travel. Mother Earth has been wounded by violence and she will take time to heal. Tell people to start by not wasting money by throwing them in wishing wells. You all have the answers within you," M said with a twinkle in his eye.

Just as I was digesting all that he said, he winked at me and disappeared, just like that!

©2009 by Deepa Kandaswamy


Sunday, November 1, 2009

Forgive and Forget, Repeat by Kalen Cap


Patrick saw Mrs. Marlow approaching him. He ducked into the men’s room to avoid her.
Every time Mrs. Marlow had spoken to him in the past year, she’d forgiven him for a disagreement that had occurred while Patrick served as the young adult member on the vestry. Apparently, Mrs. Marlow had taken the admonition to forgive and forget to heart in its most limited sequential form. She kept forgetting that she’d already forgiven him. The incident she forgave him for was allowing outside groups to use the facilities for their meetings. The measure had narrowly passed over Mrs. Marlow’s protests. She claimed that allowing those groups to use their building would undermine the church’s purity of mission. Less than a year later, Mrs. Marlow had championed using the rent money the groups paid the church to purchase pendants for the choir to wear during recitals.
Let it go, Patrick told himself.
He glanced in the mirror and recognized a look of guilt. He didn’t like avoiding people. But he couldn’t tell whether Mrs. Marlow was truly forgetful, or if she was needling him relentlessly on purpose. She seemed a perfectly capable woman otherwise.
Patrick left the restroom, relieved to see that Mrs. Marlow had gone elsewhere. He went into the sanctuary and sat at his usual spot. He supposed he was a little far back for the evening service, but he wanted the comfort of the familiar. During Sundays that he worked an early shift at the department store, he found it important to take care of himself in little ways later in the day.
His eyes closed and his breathing slowed as he listened to the soothing music being played prior to the start of service. Then, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He swung around and found himself directly facing Mrs. Marlow.
“Patrick, I’m so glad to see you,” Mrs. Marlow said
“Hi, Mrs. Marlow. Nice to see you too.” Oh, man, that’s the biggest lie I’ve said all month.
“As soon as I saw you this evening, I knew I had to speak with you,” Mrs. Marlow said, her eyes furrowed.
“Uh huh.”
“How should I say this? Oh, I’ll simply be direct. I want you to know I hold no grudges over our disagreement while on the vestry together. I realize how young you were then, and still are, I might add. I know in my heart of hearts that I was right.” Mrs. Marlow paused to wipe away a tear. “But, I want you to know that I’ve moved beyond any ill feelings resulting from allowing those heathen groups to defile the sanctity of our church home. Now, now, let’s not start the argument again. I see that challenging look in your eyes. You’re a fighter, you are. I only came to you this evening to forgive you. I realize you’ll see the light someday, and I do commend you for participating in church business. Not many in your generation have the gumption to do that. I suppose the congregation can hardly expect you to be skilled in such matters without experience, can we?”
“Are there any names to add to the prayer list?” the deacon at the church podium asked. The obligatory microphone feedback hurt Patrick’s ears.
“Oh, dear. I’d best get back to my husband. Thank you, Patrick, for hearing out an old woman. I feel a burden’s been lifted from my shoulders having had our little chat.” With a nod and a smile, Mrs. Marlow hurried off.
Patrick looked blankly after her for a moment, then turned back artound.
“Let’s hold the Stewart family in our hearts,” the deacon said and paused.
Patrick had to restrain himself from laughing following Mrs. Marlow’s antics. He had the feeling he’d be forgiven repeatedly by her for years to come.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Barbie Goes to Disneyland by Jennifer Gottesman


Sitting on the desk my father built into the picture window, Luz and I waited for the Disneyland fireworks to explode in the distance like we had done every summer for the past five years. From the second story of my bedroom we had a perfect view. The smog striated the July sky a thousand shades of orange and pink before drawing its night curtain. Waiting for the next show to begin, we watched rats scurry up the tree in my backyard to steal walnuts. While the rats got their dinner, I opened a little box record player that folded neatly into a suitcase. With one song per side, a single record just fit inside when you closed the lid. I struggled with the adapter, flattening the record and the adapter between my palms so it was even on both sides. Once it was secure, I gently laid the record over the spindle holding it by the edges. 
Luz was toying some extra adapters lying on the desk while I got the record in place, flicking them like tiddlywinks. She stopped and examined one more closely. The yellow disc, with three notches cut out of the sides, resembled a windmill. “Why do they make these things anyways?” she asked. “Why don’t they just make the holes in the record smaller so they fit on the player in the first place? Like LPs.” 
Shrugging, I said. “I dunno? Never thought about it before.” I lowered the needle in place. Barbara Streisand began singing to us about people who need people are the luckiest people in the world. Luz and I sang along, mimicking the lyrics like a broken record. 
 
At nine o’ five, the rats disappeared into the night as Disneyland pulled back the night curtain revealing brilliant purples, blues and greens making my backyard center stage, exploding color on top of color until our eyes blurred. 
“Ooh!! Aah!! Look at that one! It looks like a waterfall. I like that one best! Yeah, that’s my favorite, too!” As quickly as it came alive, the torpid sky fell dead again while wispy ghost fireworks drifted aimlessly before disappearing into the heavens. The show was over until tomorrow. Luz and I climbed off the desk and I walked her home. 

Disneyland. The happiest place on earth looms imminently a few miles north from the house where I grew up. My house isn’t there anymore.  It’s been bulldozed into oblivion by eminent domain. You know, when the government takes someone’s property for the better good of the community, for the sake of moving things forward. And now my house is nothing more than a parking lot. And all that’s left is the walnut tree from my backyard where the rats stole their dinner, its roots lifting the blacktop cracking and raising it up like the Smog Monster is going to break through any minute. I’m standing there right now under my old walnut tree looking across the street at Luz’s house, even though Luz has disappeared into the night like the fireworks. It’s a cute little house. And unlike my house, and my friend who used to live there, it’s still here.  
 
The first time I went to Disneyland was for my seventh birthday. Mom said I could invite a friend. 
“I wanna take Luz.”  

Luzelena lived on the other side of the street. Her house had twisted wrought iron spears covering their windows that her papi brought up from Tijuana in his pick up truck. She had a fancy screen door that was always locked and Luz wore a key to that door around her neck on a shoestring.  We never locked our front door. When Luzelena spoke to her mama and papi, I couldn’t understand what they were saying. Dad said that’s because they’re wetbacks. Her house smelled like dinner at lunchtime. I ate tongue at her house once. Her mama cooked it with tomatoes and onions and potatoes. It tasted like pot roast. My lunch smelled like canned tuna fish and potato chips. 
I heard Mom tell Dad once that Luzelena’s skin smelled like lard. All I could smell was the sun from Luz’s clothes where her mama hung their laundry and the steam from the iron. Luz’s house was littered with huge baskets of ironing that people dropped off everyday. Mrs. Chavez turned the wrinkled clothes into hangars of crisp, new garments that draped every doorway of their house. Freshly cooked shirts would appear like magic from the wrinkled laundry baskets. Mrs. Chavez sprinkled something that came from a Bubble-Up bottle with a dented cap to help tame the unruly creases. With a heavy iron with a long black cord that coiled upward and hissed like a snake, she pressed until each piece would submit under her heavy arm. Clouds of steam would escape from the bottom of the iron each time Esperanza Chavez pushed into the piece she was working on. Her feet, splayed and flattened on the bottom, from the pressure of standing all day resembled two little irons themselves.  Spilling out of the elastic straps that fastened her sandals, it pained me to watch her waddle down the hall on her tiny feet and strain to hook the hangar of a newly ironed shirt over the doorway using an unbent wire hangar to help her. I knew that she’d repeat that a hundred times more that day and every day except Sunday.   
All that ironing made the inside of Luz’s house hot and sweaty like a jungle in the summer. The best place for us to play was under the shade of an old magnolia tree in her front yard. Luz and I would dig in the cool dirt next to her father’s cars that were parked in the yard, making villages among the roots of the tree. Occasionally we’d feel the mist from the neighbor’s sprinklers and we’d lift our faces and catch some of the spray with our spoons to make mud.
At certain times of the day, the sun cast a shadow on the trunk of the tree and Luz told me she could see an image of the Virgin Guadalupe. “Don’t you see it? There’s her shawl covering her head…” Luz pointed to the shadows and light. “…her hands folded in a prayer, her long gown…see? It’s her! It’s a milagro!” I didn’t know what the Virgin Guadalupe looked like, so I’d follow Luz’s hand in the air as she traced the shadow on the trunk of the tree and tried to imagine what the Virgin looked like. I wanted to believe in her, but all I really saw were some leaves fluttering against the bark. And I didn’t know what a milagro was, but it sounded like a good thing, so I squinted my eyes and said, “Yes, Luz. I see it.”   


When I asked Mom about taking Luz to Disneyland, she explained, “Barbie, Luz is just… a playmate. Not the kind of friend you take to Disneyland. How about if we take your cousin Cindy instead since her birthday’s next week?” 
A gift had arrived for me by mail earlier that day. It was a dress from my Aunt Ruth. She always sent me something awfully nice for my birthday. I wanted to wear it with my patent leather dress shoes to Disneyland. Mom wanted me to wear my black and white saddle shoes instead. But they didn’t look cute with the party dress I wanted to wear.  Mom didn’t want me to wear the dress either. She said I would boil in it. She’d laid out a yellow one piece thing she’d made on her sewing machine called a sun suit. It was babyish. We argued. I won. It was my birthday. 
I paraded out front in my new dress until it was time to leave. Across the street I saw Luz squatting in her dirt yard crouching behind a car, digging holes with her spoon. She peaked up from behind her papi’s car, looking at me suspiciously. I waved to her. She stared back at me.
“I can’t play with you today, Luz,” I reminded her. “I’m going to Disneyland… with my cousin Cindy.” She went back to digging her holes without saying a word.
“Do you like my new dress? My aunt sent it to me. Don’t I look beautiful?” I twirled around so she could admire the dress from all sides. She looked up briefly, squinting before dropping her spoon and running into her house.  

The Happiest Place on Earth
The first thing I saw was the sign spanning across the entrance. Cindy and I clapped our hands together in excitement. Princesses for a day.  Each of us holding one of Mom’s hands, we skipped towards the ticket booth. 
Back then, they still used ticket books with A, B, C, D & E tickets. You got a lot more A than E tickets and everyone knows that E tickets got you on the best rides. But when you’re seven, it doesn’t matter. 
A bell from a train sounded, followed by a long hiiisss as steam escaped from the bottom of the train. “All Abbooarrd!” The deep distinctive sound resonated around the park throughout the day. First Mom took us on the train as it went around the entire park so we could see everything. Then we could decide which rides to go on. 
While waiting in long lines for rides we’d swing on cool metallic rails under the shade of eaves. Cindy and I played while Mom shooed us ahead periodically. Inside, the rides were dark and cool and scary. Once outside again, the sun was bright and burning. It felt odd to be in daylight once more, like coming out of a movie theater from a matinee. It seemed like it should be dark everywhere, not just inside. 
Finding our way out of the rides, we were forced along with hoards of people who bottle necked into crowds crushing us against Mom’s dress. Suddenly the crowds would disperse for no apparent reason only to grow again like some alien beast with a mind of its own. 
I got sick from spinning around on the Tea Cups and throwing my head from side to side like Cindy did. It didn’t seem to bother her though. Whatever the case, it stuck with me far longer than I wanted it to, long after the ride ended.  The day’s rising temperatures didn’t help my nausea. I wanted to sit down but there didn’t seem to be anywhere to be able to do just that. No grass. No shade. Even the few benches where I could rest were full of people. Why do they call this place a park when nothing about it resembles a park at all?  
By midday, the July heat was intolerable. Diesel fuel clung to the back of my throat. Steam from the train mixed with the rising heat from the pavement made the walk from Fantasy Land to Tomorrow Land unbearable. Turning a corner the smell of chlorinated water and a fine mist near the Matterhorn offered a spurt of cooling relief. I wondered if Luz was sitting under the cool shade of the magnolia tree.
My pretty dress was sticking to my skin. I wanted to rip it off. But I didn’t dare complain to Mom. Instead, I used the ¾ length sleeve to wipe my brow and fanned my legs with its heavy hound’s-tooth skirt. A bead of sweat above my lip tasted salty when I licked it. My feet hurt. Cindy was sensibly dressed in shorts and a sleeveless cotton top. On her feet, she wore plain white sneakers with cotton socks. I envied her. I tried curling my toes up to make the shoes tighter so they wouldn’t rub in the back. This helped for a while. But I couldn’t keep walking like that for long. I could see the babyish sun-suit lying on my bed. I came up with the brilliant idea of asking Cindy if she’d like to trade outfits with me while we were using the bathroom. Surely Cindy would like to have a chance to try on my pretty dress. Mom overheard us talking and put a stop to my plan and accused me of being up to one of my shenanigans. 
I could hear the clopping of a tired horse. I watched the horse plod along with its heavy mane shading its eyes. Each leg would rise and fall as if its hooves were laden in cement boots. Black mouse ears bounced up and down polka-dotting the horizon distorted from the heat waves. A woman in a full skirt that fell to the ground whooshed past in a hurry looking as though she lived in the past. The breeze she created with her skirt cooled me for a brief moment. A princess I recognized from a movie happened by along with giant stuffed animals; stifled mimes who’d allow you to shake their hands or hug them, but didn’t utter a peep. The smell of popcorn permeated the air making me hungry and telling me that my motion sickness had passed. Mom bought us a bag. While passing the bag back and forth, I dropped it. A man in white collected our spilt popcorn scraping his flip-up dustpan against the black top as he scurried around like Chip or Dale hording nuts. 
Just beyond the giant castle, a merry-go-round was grinding itself like a bore into the ground. It anchors the center of Disneyland. Underneath this circulating anchor is a secret city that no one knows about. It’s a place where workers scurry under the park like chipmunks moving nuts around in a tree to make the magic happen. Food service people hauling tons of food in carts, retail clerks exchanging cash tills, ride operators coming on and going off shift, taking breaks, characters resting out of costume, maintenance crews keeping the rides operating; service people, cleaning crews, cashiers, accountants, and controllers counting the tens of thousands of dollars in cash, supervisors and management all coordinating the orchestra. All the under workings of the park happen here in order to make things function properly and operate smoothly. Yet it’s the very part that Disney doesn’t want the public to see. It all happens in underground tunnels, a little city built especially for the behind the scenes. A whole world no one knows about. To you and me, it doesn’t exist. 
The merry-go-round’s beautiful white horses were painted with pink flowers moving around and up and down while landscape scenes in the center, which although they stood still, appeared to be twirling in the opposite direction. The effect was mesmerizing. I wanted to go on this ride most of all. The eerie music racked against my ears pulling me in as if by some mysterious force. Although the song was familiar, it didn’t sound the same as when I’d heard it before. The tinny chords were distorted like the mouse hats in the heat. Unlike the Tea Cups that spun out of control, this slow kind of circular motion had a hypnotic, soothing affect on me. 
It was about this time that my feet hurt so badly that I was unable to walk without hiding my limp. Mom noticed and insisted we go to the first aid office, which was right next to the Merry-Go-Round. When the nurse took off my shoes, we all noticed my socks soaked with blood. The blisters had broken and were so bad that band-aids were not going to help. 
“Those are some nasty blisters,” the nurse said, looking at Mom. “She really shouldn’t have worn those shoes, you know.”  Mom was busy examining the insides of my shoes. 
“Have you got a pair of scissors?” Mom asked. 
The nurse dug around in her first aid kit and came out with a pair of utility scissors. Taking the scissors, Mom cut the back seam of one of my shoes up the back. I put my hand over my mouth. “Put this on,” she said. I did as I was told. 
“Now, walk around,” she said. The shoe flopped a little in the back. But for the most part, the strap held it in place. She did the same with the other shoe. The nurse looked amused.
 “It’s either this or we go home,” Mom shrugged. “I don’t have that kind of money to throw around, do you?
“No…but then, I don’t have money to throw away a perfectly good pair of shoes, either,” said the nurse.
“I just split the seam,” Mom said. “Any good shoe repairman can fix that!” 
“I suppose you’re right,” the said nurse. 
 “Besides, we’re celebrating two birthdays!” Mom said, looking at Cindy and me.
“Well, why didn’t you say so?” the nurse looked at me and Cindy in mock surprise. She went into the back and came out with two striped lollipops. She handed one to me and one to Cindy that more than made up for the spilt popcorn. 
After we left the first-aid office, we rode the Merry-Go-Round. My feet didn’t hurt so much anymore. When we got off, I lost Mom and Cindy. I kept running around and around. They ran in one direction and I followed, never catching them. I panicked. Finally, Mom had sense enough to stop. It seemed like forever before we found each other again. I was sobbing by the time we all met up. 
As the day wore on, it cooled off and my dress finally felt comfortable again. 
Yellow and Red bulbs hanging from loose wires lit up buildings that aped the late sky. Tinkerbelle, in a spot of light, got our attention making us look up. Following her, I heard the sound of music. 
A loud voice said, “Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls!”  
POP! POP! POP!  Those same fireworks I’d watched from my bedroom window thundered directly above me.
With every POP, my whole body shuddered. My broken shoes grabbed the pavement. My heart shot into my throat! I felt fireworks rumble through my whole body, but my eyes wouldn’t let go of the sky!  I looked at my cousin standing next to me and I wished Luz were here to see this, to feel it in her feet. I wished I’d made a stink and insisted on taking her instead of wearing these dreadful shoes and this hot dress. 

A lump the size of a walnut was stuck in Luz’s throat all day. And now that the sun was sinking behind the rooftops and the sky was changing to its sunset color, she felt as though she’d swallowed it whole and it was sitting in the bottom of her belly. Even though her mama sent her older brother, Angel, to find her and tell her that supper was ready, she didn’t feel like eating. She went to her room instead and picked up her Barbie doll from the floor and sunk onto her bed. Luz studied the Barbie doll’s pinched face and Spockish eyes while stroking her fake blond hair, which she tried to make go back into a ponytail with her hands. But it wouldn’t stay. The hairpiece had broken. Barbie doll’s shoes were long gone, perhaps buried somewhere in the closet or simply lost. Luz bounced the Barbie doll up and down on her aching tummy with her pointy feet still arched in a high-heel pose, even though they were bare, pushing the doll harder and harder into her belly trying to make them flat like real feet creating chicken pock marks across her stomach. When the doll didn’t comply, she threw it across the room and it landed head first in a basked of ironing, buried to her torso, with her bare feet sticking out in their pointy pose and her arms protruding backwards with her hands and fingers molded together as though she appeared to be cupping something. 
When Luz heard the first POP of the Disneyland fireworks go off in the distance over her friend’s house, her head was already buried underneath her pillow. She swallowed the tears that had welled up in her brown eyes and choked them down with her thumb and hiccupped herself to sleep.  
Meanwhile, Luz’s Barbie doll wiggled her way to the bottom of the clothes pile like a mermaid. She squeezed through a hole in the basket, then through a knot in the wooden floor slats and disappeared under the house. She was forgotten in the dust next to the floor furnace along with a brigade of stiff green army men, some marbles, a baseball, and a dead cat named Willie who’d belonged to the previous owners of the house. 

 “Now, where is our car?” Mom wondered out loud. “Didn’t we park in Donald Duck? Or was it Goofy?” Cars left, opening up parking spaces. We waited. “Aha! There it is!” Mom said as she dragged us by our tired arms towards the sedan. Behind the driver’s wheel, she sat forward pumping the gas while turning the key. Bessie, our ’57 Chevy, finally sputtered to life. It was one the last cars to leave.
Crisscross on top of each other in the back seat, Cindy and I slept while Mom drove home. I didn’t hear Mom pull Bessie into the narrow driveway of our house on Washington Street. The car door creaked open on its rusty hinges and Mom shook me awake. She led me upstairs to my room still asleep and after tucking me into bed, she pried the sticky lollipop out of my hand and tossed it in the garbage along with my broken shoes.




KEEP DRIVING




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Life is like a long journey a car goes through with many bumps along the way
How we all wish for a smooth straight drive
Picture the pretty scenery through the window
The sun always shines and the birds chirping along to the tune in the radio
No sudden halts and dangerous curves in the road
Just the calmness and serenity in the air keeps the car moving
But that’s only what we can wish for, right?

So, the real road ahead has not one but many diversions
The bumps that come our way are unexpected and ones we can’t foresee
Sometimes, the path is dark and lonely – we get lost
Dirt patches ruin the body of our car and brings down our self image and reputation
Road signs and maps tend to lead us to nowhere
We ask for directions but get led to places we don’t want to step foot on
Occasionally we come across traffic jams – God testing our patience through time
Our self esteem, faith and hope is weakened by pot holes discouraging us to move forward
Crossroads cause us nothing but confusion – not knowing which way to turn
And how can we forget meeting in accidents!
Some lead us to the loss of life, jobs or friendships
But from some we recover – get a shiny new coat and oil the engine!

It’s in times like this that we need to remember that God is in control of the steering wheel
He’s the one driving it and leading us towards the right destination
When facing those situations where pillars lie in our path or the car breaks down
Let’s not press the panic button and fear the worst
But break those pillars down and take the car for a service
God does the exact same thing with our hearts
He fills it with the Holy Spirit, re-fuelling and pumping up the engine to face the toughest of times
It’s only through the working of the spirit in us
That we are all geared up to meet tomorrow’s challenges

So let’s buckle up for the drive ahead
Use the bible as our map
Jesus as our navigation system
The holy spirit as our fuel
Start the ignition with a rock solid prayer
Accelerate and keep driving towards the journey of life!